Last year at almost exactly this time, the VP of our department tendered her resignation. She just happened to be the umbrella that sheltered Bossman from all the crap-rain that he would bring down on himself. As a result, he never suffered any consequences for the complete disregard of his responsibilities as a Director. When she left, the position remained vacant up until about a week ago, leaving all mid-level management spiraling downward in a frenzy of “who are they going to promote”, power trips and mass chaos due to a lack of watchful eyes holding anyone accountable. In other words, the past year has been absolute anarchy in the realm of management. Of course, all existing managers were anticipated to vie for the position.
A few were solid candidates in our eyes. They had experience, favor, education and the overall drive to accomplish the task. Then there was Bossman. Bossman was never around when anyone needed him. Never answered any of his multiple cell phones if you attempted to hunt him down. Responded to emails weeks after they were initially sent. And was generally defiant to anyone in authority exceeding his.
Of course, he pursued the position of VP.
A certain co-worker of mine who doesn’t often bite her tongue addressed the palpable fact that he was going to interview for this position.
Bossman’s response was, “Of course I’m going for it. I owe it to this company to be the Vice President. After all they’ve done for me, it’s the least I can do.”
OH OKAY. You’re doing us a FAVOR by promoting YOURSELF. Of course! That is so selfless of you!
Needless to say, weeks passed by with no word of their acceptance of his selfless offering to fill the position. Bossman’s mood steadily declined toward a dark, mulling, brooding, festering and angry disposition.
Cue reality check.
It’s been a few months since the rejection hit Bossman and now the position is filled. The VP will be starting on Monday.
What’s been taking place since the announcement is quite hilarious, to be honest. Bossman wants to make a good impression, because now he realizes his umbrella is gone and he’s left standing in the pouring rain, susceptible and defenseless, with no one to make excuses for his absences and his inappropriate derision. He’s been cleaning his disaster area for 4 days now and I swear it’s getting worse. I guess it’s like bronchitis… your cough gets way worse before it gets better.
There are now small towers of documents on the floor surrounding his desk giving it the feeling of Mordor in LOTR surrounding and encasing the evil that dwells inside it’s boundaries. There’s even a pile of dirty towels behind his chair. I don’t know where they came from and when I asked him he just said, “I use those a lot.” Well, obviously… there are dark smears all over them, but WHY are they in the middle of the office floor and what the heck do you use them for??
Bossman has also taken a sudden interest in EVERY aspect of my job. He now wants to know everything that I do (which is way more than he even thought). Frankly, it’s downright irritating, but he has to know in case the new head honcho asks. His awareness of my duties has also led to him taking credit for the things I do. There’s an obvious guilt that comes along with this, though, because last week he says to me:
BM: “You know I give you credit for things when you’re not around?”
Me: “Um, did I say something to make you feel bad?”
BM: “No, I just want you to know I give you credit.”
Me: “Well, obviously something has you feeling guilty, did somebody else say something?”
BM: “No! I just want you to.. never mind!”
Me: **snickering**
I accepted long ago that I remain nameless/faceless in executive meetings that revolve around work that I’ve done. I’m okay with that. People will realize soon enough after I am long gone and Bossman suddenly has “forgotten” how to make flowcharts in Visio, calculate complex formulas in Excel or even simply save a file to his desktop (yes, seriously, he doesn’t know how to do that) that I was the brains behind this operation. I’m the man behind the curtain. I, my friends, am the Wizard of Oz.
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