Bossman has had some personal issues which have resulted in him actually being pleasant at work. It's amazing. Bossman has experienced a devestating split from the mistress of Satan aka my arch enemy. Seeing as to how he is a 12 year old trapped in a 46 year old man's body and she is a 13 year old tramp with sagging orange skin that wears tutus with leggings and $15 four inch heels, I imagine the break-up happened something like this:
Since his devil of a fiancee (or now ex-fiancee) is no longer an issue, it means life has been easy-sailing for me. Bossman and I have developed a more lighthearted rapport in which we actually joke around with each other. Here are a few short stories about my recent days here with the Bossman:
1. Since his desk has been declared a disaster area by the federal government, I've decided to have some fun with it and hide arbitrary objects in and on his desk weekly. Last week, a wire hanger inside a file, which he only found today. Amazingly, upon discovering said hanger, he sincerely believed it was his that he had put there... no questions as to why a hanger was inside the folder... only, "Oh, I found a hanger in my folder." Which he then walked over to the closet and hung it inside. Tomorrow, I'll bury a tampon somewhere deep in the depths of the desk abyss. It will be fascinating to see whether or not he questions it's presence when he finds it. It's quite compelling for me. The only reason he even found the hanger is because he smacked his head off the brick wall yesterday after tripping over a box of plastic dishware sitting behind his chair and decided it was time to tidy up.
2. A few days ago Bossman asked me how to spell "girth". As punishment for the ignorance of the spelling of such a simple word, I told him, "G-E-U-R-T-H". He decided that spell check was wrong and I was right and sent the email. Not really sure who the recipient was, but I'm sure their opinion of Bossman lessened slightly at the sight of GEURTH. It's the little things in life, ya know?
3. Just a few moments ago I made a suggestion in regards to a workflow. Bossman responds, “Well, here’s the thing.” He then picked up his coffee and walked away. He still hasn’t told me what the “thing” is. Maybe he has Adult ADD or Dementia or a loss of blood-flow to his brain. There’s no telling why a man can suddenly stop a thought, walk away, and carry on like the conversation never began in the first place. I'm perplexed. I'm not gonna lie.
4. Then, earlier today, the Pres of the company walks over and says, “Bossman, do you have a second? I need to get your thoughts on this.”
Bossman replies, “Oh yeah! I love my thoughts.”
I snorted accidentally and caught the attention of Bossman and Pres. Bossman raised his eyebrows as if to say, “I’m so funny and I love me!” Pres raised his eyebrows as if to say, “Good lord almighty, save us.” This, my friends, is the leadership of my company. The people I'm supposed to admire and strive to be like.
Now I must share this with you. This Dilbert strip is the perfect depiction of my relationship with the almighty Bossman. I’ve shared this with him, too. His response was “My head is not fat.” Okay, Bossman.
I need you all to understand that it is very difficult for me to filter through all of the stories and experiences I have, breaking them down and deciding which to include in my posts. There are so many to choose from and often, writing them down helps surface memories of more stories. So if things seem to not be cohesive and disconnected at times, forgive me, because I sometimes get overly enthusiastic about telling you what geniuses I work with.
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