Lately, the area in which I reside has been hit with some pretty dreadful and devastating storms. This past Tuesday was no exception. Around 5pm a wall cloud raced across the sky as I watched from the 15 foot wall to wall windows that line the exterior wall of the lounge. It was as if the clouds were literally swallowing every ray of sunshine that forced its way through the atmosphere. One by one, the beams disappeared until the sky was an ominous shade of bluish gray. The trees, dazzling the hillside with their brilliant shades of orange and yellow seemed to be casting light from within. The landscape seemed to take on the properties of a dark cave filled with golden coins from a lost treasure.
Photo courtesy of WTAE News Pittsburgh
Then the roaring began. I watched as all those little gold coins blew in bursts off those sparkling trees and got caught in winds blowing in circles, then up into the sky. The roaring shook the entire building. It sounded like we were being attacked by some other-worldly creature (think Cloverfield).
All the while, Bossman, who was supposed to be at a work-related event, was at home. *Ahem* I do believe God brought this storm on to reveal the fact that the Bossman is a liar. People get their come-uppins, ya know.
So Bossman is at home. Forecasters had been calling out the storm all day. People were preparing for the worst. Except for Bossman. Bossman was on a ladder fixing a cable line on the second floor roof of his house.
Yes, really.
Cue ominous clouds, roaring winds and then the rain/hail.
According to Bossman, he was too afraid to climb down the ladder, so he just hung on for dear life. Attempting to preserve the smidgen of dignity that he thought he had.
Suddenly, a gust of wind pinned him against the ladder, knocking the air out of him and began hurling branches from nearby trees through the air.
One of the kamikaze branches just happened to choose the path of Bossman’s face and quickly and very abruptly made contact with the round empty cranium of his. He blacked out, of course, still clinging to the ladder.
He managed to climb down after the wind died down a few minutes later, blood trickling down his face. It was over.
Then the ding dong went and played hockey and managed to get himself smashed into the sideboards head first.
Yesterday, after hours of pain (he eventually showed up at the office around 2pm), Bossman says to me, “I’ve had this headache since last night and I can’t figure out why…”
I, pulling from my wealth of knowledge developed from hours of watching CSI, NCSI, The Mentalist, Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice, deduced that it was a concussion/contusion due to blunt force trauma. I diagnosed him and told him he needs to go to the hospital because he could have a subdural hematoma and die suddenly if he doesn’t get it taken care of. ((hehe))
Later, I hear him on the phone with who I’m assuming was a doctor and he says, “I really think I have that blood force confusion* thing. I think I need a scan because I don’t want to die of an epidural hemophilia*.”
*Blood Force Confusion – Blunt force trauma / contusion
*Epidural Hemophilia – Subdural Hematoma
Today, he isn’t here. Maybe his blood force confusion made him think it was Saturday?
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