I Like Totally Don't Know What To Call This Post

Today I present to you yet another, ceaselessly entertaining co-worker Dingy Von Airhead.

Dingy is lovable, very pleasant and always light-hearted.  For this, I appreciate her very much.  I also appreciate very much the fact that the majority of her thought patterns are nowhere near what one would classify as normal.

When Dingy was first hired, her biggest obstacle was not trying to fit in or getting to know her co-workers, it was how to use the phone.  Across the office we heard in her valley-girl accented tone, “Uh, do I like have to pick UP the phone before I dial?”

Oh my.

She continually refers to clients as sweetie, which in most instances would be considered rude and disrespectful, but somehow, coming from Dingy, it's almost endearing. 

Once, Dingy boastfully told the story of being out of town on a business trip and not being able to figure out how to work the alarm clock.  Her solution was simply to stay up all night so as to not sleep in.  This resulted in an extra dingy Dingy Von Airhead the next day.  An event I’m sorry to have missed in person.  I'm sure the dinginess reached on that day far outshone any other amount of dinginess.

I suppose she forgot that the front desk can do wake-up calls or that her Blackberry most likely has an alarm on it, too?  But, I guess if she can’t figure out how to DIAL a phone that the chances of her being able to set an alarm on one are pretty minuscule.

Another time, as I was in the middle of a conversation with Bossman, Dingy interrupted.

Dingy: “OH MY GOD.  You just scared me so bad!”  **giggle giggle giggle**

Me:  “How did I do that when I was standing here talking to Bossman?”

Dingy: “I was like at the printer making copies and all of a sudden papers started coming out!”

Me: “That’s usually what printers do when you make copies, Dingy.”

Dingy: “But I like SO did not push the ‘Start’ button.  Then I looked and they all had  YOUR name on them and I was like, ‘Oh my god, how is she doing that??”

Me: **crickets chirping**

Dingy: “I like so did not know that you could print from your computer onto the copier!! I thought it was possessed!”

Me: ……….

Dingy: “I know, I’m SO funny, right?!”

Me: …………………………….

With that, Dingy hopped away, and Bossman and I shared a glance of complete shock and disbelief, then carried on like nothing happened.

I am grateful for the plethora of personalities and uniqueness that my office shelters.  No one can ever say that diversity is something we lack. 

However, I have been reported to HR for being racist before… but that’s another story for another time.